Ghosting and how to handle it
Professional ghosting is on the rise and it sucks.
The phenomenon, sometimes termed administrative silence (where one party fails to communicate appropriately in a professional setting), can lead to significant financial, legal, and psychosocial consequences for the affected party.
And never mind the buzz words, the facts are, it impacts our professional life, sometimes leading to significant financial, legal, and psychosocial consequences for the affected party, particularly self-esteem.
For job seekers, “perceived incivility”, otherwise known as rudeness, affects confidence.
When job seekers experience rudeness during their job search, it makes them feel less confident, specifically about their job search abilities.
Conversely, confidence boosts search efforts:
Feeling confident about their job search skills makes job seekers more motivated to intensively search for job opportunities.
Ghost-busting techniques
1) Positive Emotion
Grab a pen and paper or whatever you have closest to hand
Spend the next 5 minutes writing down 10 positive qualities or attributes about yourself
Once you start writing, try not to stop
Highlight your favourite two and make a point of promoting and doubling-down on it for the rest of the week
2) Exercise compassion (for yourself AND the ghost)
Act compassionately towards someone for 5-15 minutes tomorrow and everyday thereafter.
The Golden Rule - treat others the way that we would like to be treated (don’t forget yourself) Self Compassion - self-kindness, common humanity, awareness
Results from a recent study reveal that self- compassion both predicts and promotes adaptive responses to rejection. The findings also suggested that a self-compassionate mindset may lessen the sting of rejection.
3) Mindful vs Mindfulness
Practice mindfulness during routine activities. Try to be more present during your normal daily routine. For example, pay more attention while brushing your teeth, taking a shower, eating breakfast, or driving to work.
Focus in on the sight, sound, smell, taste, and feel of these activities instead of completing them on autopilot. Put your phone on airplane mode.
Stop checking your phone every five minutes! An easy way to do this is to put your phone on airplane mode, for example, when you are out to dinner with friends or engaged in a conversation. It is much easier to be present in the moment without constant notifications from a cell phone.
Connect with nature. Get outside! Take a walk in nature, whether that be in your neighbourhood, at a park, in the woods, or on the beach. Listen to the sounds of nature, look around, and be present in your surroundings.
Schedule time. Set aside 15 to 30 minutes a day for meditation, yoga, art, or another mindful activity you enjoy. Be sure to remove all distractions while practicing this activity.
Surround yourself with support. Get books, go online, or download phone apps to learn more and keep you motivated in the practice. And spend lots of time with your cheerleaders
References
Islam et al., (2023) How and when perceived job search incivility leads to reduced job search behavior. Personnel Review.
Petric, D. (2023) Potential Detrimental Health and Social Effects of Ghosting, GNOSI: An Interdisciplinary Journal of Human Theory and Praxis: Vol. 6 No. 1 (2023)
